JUST FOR LAUGHS

Johnny's mother stops to watch her son read the Bible to their cat. " Isn't that sweet?", She says.But an hour later she hears a terrible racket.Running out of the door , she finds Johnny stuffing the cat into a bucket of water.
"Johnny what are you doing ?"
I'm baptizing Muffin," he replies.
"But cats don't like to be in water"
"Well then, he shouldn't have joined my church."

TONGUE TWISTERS
Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now, See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw.

INTERESTING MALAPROPISMS

"...promise to forget this fellow - to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory."
[obliterate]

"O, he will dissolve my mystery!"
[resolve]

"He is the very pine-apple of politeness!"
[pinnacle]

.she might reprehend the true meaning of what she is saying."
[comprehend]

"...she's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile."
[alligator]